Recurring Features

Since I’ll be including a few recurring features here at Carcetti for Mayor, I thought I ought to include a post explaining what each one is.

Simpsons Reference of the Day:

Like many of my friends, I am obsessed with the Simpsons, especially the first 12 seasons or so. I can quote episodes from memory, I have used analogies from the show in papers, and I above all pepper my conversations with references to the show. Of course, many of my friends and relatives do the same. “Simpsons Reference of the Day” is simply a catalogue of those references, presented in the context in which they were used. These references will mostly be spoken by me, but I’ll include those spoken by others as well. Example:

(Scene: While preparing for a night on the town, I have just completed a shower and am walking to my bedroom, wearing only a towel, when I hear a knock at the door. Seeing that my roommates are otherwise occupied, I walk to the door and open it for my friend JBM. JBM stares at me incredulously.)

Me: I have misplaced my pants.

(Note: This actually happened. Ah, college.)

Reference: “Bart After Dark”, Season 8, Episode 5.

By the Numbers:

“By the Numbers” is a feature in which I detail arcane events in my life in minute detail. It’s similar to a feature on many other blogs and web sites. This gets published approximately “whenever I feel like it”.

Example:

Hours of Grand Theft Auto IV Played Yesterday: 9.

Amount I Would Have Made If I Had Worked a Minimum-Wage Job During That Time: $65.25.

Cost of Said Grand Theft Auto IV Game: $64.96 after taxes.

Difference Between These Two Figures: $0.29.

Ounces of Diet Dr. Pepper Consumed During Those Hours: 64.

And so on.

If They Played Basketball in Movies Not About Basketball:

This is a recurring feature that I will write solely as a time-waster and is something that is probably only interesting to me. It’s basically just an analysis of the main characters from a given movie based on how well they would play as a basketball team. I’ll look at the different characters, make up positions (and pertinent information about each character to make them fit as basketball players), and then analyze the strengths and weaknesses of the team. I’ll figure out about how many wins they could expect to get in the current NBA season, and then finally compare them to the gold standard of basketball teams: the 2004-05 University of Illinois Fighting Illini Men’s Basketball Team (note: blatant homerism alert). See my post (linked below) on “Ghostbusters” for an example.

New York Times Editorials:

My absolute favorite post I wrote for my old blog was one where I ripped apart a New York Times editorial on the Samuel Alito Supreme Court nomination firejoemorgan.com-style. (If you haven’t visited firejoemorgan.com by now, you really should). Basically, all I do here is go through the editorial line by line and either refute what they’ve written, make fun of them, or both. Why the Grey Lady? Politically I’m closer to the Wall Street Journal than to the New York Times, plus NYT seems to have a more arrogant style, at least to me. I’ll post a link to an example once I do one.